|
HOME |
Bullies don't go away when elementary school ends; bullying actually
peaks in junior high. It continues through high school and even into the
workplace. It can lead to serious problems and dangerous situations for
both the victim and the bully.
Bullying is repeated and uncalled-for aggressive behavior, or quite
simply, unprovoked meanness. It's a form of intimidation, which means
behavior designed to threaten, frighten, or get someone to do something
they wouldn't necessarily do. Bullies have learned that bullying works.
They do it to feel powerful and in control. There are things you can do
to deal with the situation without making things worse.
The Facts
-
Bullies keep
bullying as long as it works -- as long as it makes them feel more
powerful.
-
Many children
and teens are bullies or victims of bullies, but the largest number
of children and teens are bystanders -- witnesses to bullying.
-
Eight percent
of urban junior and senior high students miss one day of school each
month because of fear.
-
Bullying takes
lots of forms: it can be physical or verbal, mild to severe.
-
One in four
children who bullies will have a criminal record before the age of
30.
-
Girls can be
bullies too, although bullying by girls is more likely to show up as
spreading rumors, leaving people out of social events, teasing about
clothes or boyfriends, or threatening to withdraw friendship.
However, this doesn't mean that girls don't use physical
intimidation to bully.
-
Although much
bulling happens where adults can't see or hear it, it also happens
when adults are present. Often adults don't do anything to stop the
bullying.
The Victim
Anyone can be
the target of bullying. However, most victims are often less -- or
feel less powerful -- than the bullies. A typical victim is likely
to be shy, sensitive, and perhaps anxious or insecure. Some teens
are picked on for physical reasons, such as being overweight or
small, wearing different or "weird" clothing, having a physical
disability, or belonging to a different race or religious faith.
The Bully
The
Intimidators
Some bullies
are outgoing, aggressive, active, and expressive. They get their way
by brute force or openly harassing someone. They may carry a weapon.
This type of bully rejects rules and regulations and needs to rebel
to achieve a feeling of being better than everyone else.
The
Smooth Talkers
Other bullies
are more reserved and tricky and may not want to be recognized as
harassers or tormentors. They try to control by talking, saying the
right thing at the right time, and lying. This type of bully gets
his or her power secretively through manipulation and deception.
As different
as these two types may seem, all bullies have these characteristics
in common:
-
concern with
their own pleasure
-
want power over
others
-
willingness to
use and abuse other people to get what they want
-
feel pain
inside, perhaps because of their own shortcomings
-
find it
difficult to see things from someone else's perspective.
If You Are the Victim
-
No one solution
works well in every situation, but there are a variety of strategies
you can try.
-
Avoid or ignore
the bully.
-
Hang out with
friends. There is safety in numbers.
-
Say no to a
bully's demands from the start. If the bully threatens you with a
weapon, give in to the demands and immediately tell an adult.
-
Tell the bully
assertively to stop threatening you (for example, "I don't like what
you're doing -- stop it!" or "Get a life -- leave me alone.")
-
Do not
physically fight back: experience shows that this actually increases
the likelihood of continued victimization.
-
Seek immediate
help from an adult.
-
Report bullying
to school personnel.
-
If your safety
is at stake, walk away or run if you need to.
Stop the Bullying
It's everyone's
responsibility to stop bullying. And don't be afraid to get help
when necessary. It take courage, but you will be preventing the
intimidation from continuing and possibly escalating. You can report
the problem to authorities anonymously.
-
Refuse to
participate in taunting and teasing.
-
Treat others
the way you would like to be treated.
-
Tell adults it
you witness cruelty or hear about violence that might occur.
-
Walk away from
fights.
-
Speak out
against the bully.
-
Stand tall and
walk with confidence and in a way that commands respect.
-
Hang out with
friends who don't get involved in bullying.
-
Stand up for
others who are being intimidated.
-
Include the
person who is being bullied in your activities.
-
Show compassion
for the victim.
Take Action
-
Work with the
school administration and get students together to develop or revise
your school's code of conduct.
-
Start a bully
education program for the local elementary school -- consider a
puppet show or skit that teaches kids about bullying.
-
Organize a teen
panel or discussion group to talk about the issues of bullying and
intimidation at your school.
This information is
provided by the National Crime Prevention Council-www.ncpc.org
1000 Connecticut
Avenue, NW, 13th Floor
Washington, DC
20036
|